Foster parents do incredible work, and they shouldn’t have to do it alone. Each family needs a strong support system, says Christi Vaughn, foster parent support specialist. For more than 25 years, she has provided families in Tennessee with resources, training, and encouragement.
Vaughn knows how important it is to have someone cheering families on. One parent who nominated her as an outstanding caseworker put it simply: “It makes all the difference.”
What attracted you to this work?
I think part of the reason I like this work is that my grandparents were foster parents who cared for several sets of siblings. I’ve kept in touch with some of the kids my grandparents raised throughout the years, including a brother and sister who I consider my aunt and uncle.
You’ve been a social worker for 25 years. That is an impressive career! What keeps you doing this work?
In my role, I get to see most cases through to the time a child achieves permanency. Of course, reunification is the goal. But when that can’t happen, it’s wonderful to go to the adoption ceremonies and see the kids excited to be adopted, especially the middle and high school-aged kids. Recently, a family I worked with adopted a sibling set of three teenage girls. The oldest was adopted nine days before she turned 18! That was a special day for everyone.
Also, my colleagues keep me motivated. I work on a team of seven, and four of us have been here for 20 years or more. We work well together, trust each other, and always help each other where we can.
What does supporting families look like in your day-to-day work?
I help foster parents find the resources they need. A lot of parents work, and they need help finding respite, daycare, and after-school programs. When parents are looking for help dealing with a particular issue, I recommend trainings and try to connect them with another foster parent who has experienced something similar.
Also, I am accessible to parents by email, text, or cell. Sometimes, I’m a sounding board, offering advice or assuring them that they are doing the right thing. Other times, I’m just listening and letting them vent.
What makes a good foster parent?
A successful foster parent is patient with the process. They realize that there will be ups and downs before permanency is achieved, whether it’s reunification or adoption.
They are also patient with the child. I’ve worked with hundreds of families over the years. In my experience, when a child comes into a home, it takes time (often about 30 or 60 days) for the child to settle into a routine. And as they do, as they adjust and calm down, you see a different kid.
And of course, a good foster parent supports reunification with the birth family. That can mean everything from texting them photos of the children to helping with babysitting to mentoring. Some of my foster parents have maintained those relationships. I have one foster family that meets with the birth family quarterly at a restaurant.
Parting words?
Foster parents don’t get enough recognition. They have to get a child to open up. It often starts from that first dinner, when they are trying to figure out what a child likes to eat.
Foster parents notice so much in a child’s daily life. And then they have to pass along that information to the child’s case manager, so the child gets the support and services they need. I wish more people knew how hard foster parents work with the children they foster and what a difference they make in their lives.