The holidays can seem less like a sleigh ride and more like an emotional roller coaster for children and youth with trauma.
While the season may advertise all things holly and jolly, its festivities often result in joy and grief colliding, as common feelings such as uncertainty, overstimulation, and ambivalence can leave those in foster or adoptive homes reluctant to embrace the holiday spirit. Fortunately, intentional preparation and compassionate planning can ease the understandable struggles and offer more comfort and joy for those in your care.
Below, we offer resources to support and guide your efforts to transform the season’s challenges into cherished memories. This curated list provides articles, podcasts, videos, and worksheets to assist in addressing the holidays’ highs and lows. These links lead to in-depth explorations of and actionable tips for managing holiday triggers, honoring sadness, avoiding outbursts, incorporating existing cultural and familial traditions, fostering a sense of belonging, and more.
We’ve curated a collection of resources from our site and around the web as to how you can make this holiday season more mindful, merry, and meaningful for everyone in your home.
Why the holidays can be hard and how you can make them better: Jamerika Haynes-Lewis writes about her experiences as a foster youth during the holidays and offers heartfelt strategies to help foster and adoptive youth feel included and valued during the season. From honoring traditions to creating mementos, this article offers six practical tips to build connection and ease holiday stress for your family.
Strategies for creating happier holidays: The holidays can be tough for children and youth with a history of trauma, but with the right approach, they can also be a time for healing and joy. In this article, certified adoption therapist Jessica Sinarksi discusses how to set realistic expectations, incorporate birth family traditions, and create safe spaces for your child this season.
Understand the importance of sibling relationships during the holidays and beyond: Learn how sibling relationships can be a source of strength and stability for children in foster care. This article by former foster youth and current foster care worker Phoenix Santiago blends her poignant personal story with actionable advice for foster and adoptive families to maintain these life-changing connections during the festive seasons and year-round.
Increase your cultural competence to improve your youth’s holiday experiences: The holidays are a time to celebrate traditions and bring families together. Use this worksheet from the National Center of Diligent Recruitment to create a more inclusive environment by understanding the cultural practices, values, and celebrations that matter most to the children in your care.
How holidays can be a chance to deepen your relationship with those in your care: In this first episode of the AdoptUSKids’ podcast series, Navigating Adoption, adoptive mother and daughter Liz and Ashley open up about their first holiday season together and how it strengthened their relationship. Discover tips for navigating emotional complexities while creating joyful memories with your family.
Transform the twelve days of Christmas into twelve days of connection: For children with a history of trauma, holiday abundance can sometimes feel like too much. Learn how to center connection, not possessions, with simple activities and rituals that bring families closer together in this article from the Attachment & Trauma Network.
Prepare for a season of comfort and joy by setting emotional expectations: A little preparation can make a big difference for foster children during the holiday season. This article outlines intentional and actionable steps you can take to make this season brighter for youth, including setting expectations, addressing emotions, and creating collaborative traditions.
A coping guide for navigating the season’s emotions: From planning ahead to holding space for grief, this guide from The Resilient Caregiver provides essential tips to help families navigate the emotional complexities of the holiday season. Learn how to approach the holidays with compassion and help your children feel supported during this challenging time.
Twelve ideas for supportive adults to help a young person in foster care through the holidays: This article from FosterClub provides twelve specific strategies for helping foster youth through the holiday season, including discussing family traditions, supporting gift-giving, and managing emotional well-being. Discover how small gestures can make the holidays more manageable and meaningful for those in your care.
When kids melt down during the holidays: This article from NurturedFirst offers insight into why children may actually be struggling during an overstimulating and emotional season. Use this resource to understand the root causes of these reactions and consider effective approaches to preventing tantrums and responding with empathy and care when they do occur.
Holiday triggers for kids experiencing foster care or adoption: This video from Lauren, a former foster youth and current foster and adoptive parent, alerts you to the emotional triggers that can impact those kids with trauma and who are celebrating the holidays in foster or adoptive homes. Lauren outlines typical triggers and associated behaviors and offers insight into why they appear and how they can be supported during this time.
An extensive list of holiday survival supports: For those looking to further explore how to approach the season, The Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center’s resource compilation includes dozens of options for exploring ways to make the holidays more enjoyable and comforting for the entire family. Links shared offer everything from sensory-friendly holiday crafts to tips for approaching common seasonal issues for those with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders to managing grief to incorporating culturally sensitive considerations.
